Updated: Aug 19, 2021
HEY ALL, I have been gone for a couple of weeks due to a MAJOR job promotion and move. Trying to get back into the groove of things has been a little challenging BUT you all know I NEVER GIVE UP! Each week I discuss a different topic, on my social media outlet, Lana The Influencer, LLC. A few weeks ago, I discussed FRIENDSHIP live on IGTV with My Monday Story and featured one of my best friends, Stephanie Deavens. If you have not checked it out yet just click this link!!
What Is The Purpose Of Friendship?
Before I had a friend, I felt alone and isolated. Have you ever felt that way before? Through my experiences, the purpose of friendship is to help find companionship and belonging. When you think of companionship you think of romantic love right. Well, my first companions were three different women at my High School (Latoya Brown, Nadiya Box, and Shirlisa Bailey). Then I met Stephanie on my first day of college at Mississippi Valley State University. She became my protector and someone who I knew would not turn their back on me. Being a person who dealt with abuse in the home, I was so glad she was there to care. She would encourage me, tell me I was beautiful and push me in ways that my family NEVER did. She became more than a friend; she was my chosen family. Stephanie in return told me that I taught her how to be compassionate. Stephanie also stated I taught her to learn to love another person besides herself and her family. Friendship teaches us lessons that our own family cannot teach us. She taught me how to love myself more and I taught her how to be compassionate.
Date Your Friend!
What do you think about the above statement? In all actuality, we date our friends all the time. I only went to Miami once in my life and guess who I went with? I went to Miami with my girls. I have been invited to my friend's family gatherings. I've been over baby showers and been a part of their weddings. Me and my friend, Myuki, have stayed on the phone for hours at a time just talking about anything and everything. I have been called on when things got rough and when my friends have amazing news. Just being intentional about learning the person and being there for them is just like dating. When we date our friends and are sincere in those relationships they last a lifetime.
"Friendship is a strong bond between people who intentionally learn, grow and accept one another with pure intentions and ongoing trust" -Lana
I Had To Become A Better Friend.
Let's talk about a time when I was not a good friend to Achante. Achante is a very hands-on and intentional friend. She accepted me as I was BUT I never accepted her. She would want to come to visit and always talk on the phone, I wasn't used to the attention she was giving me. I realized that I was not in a very healthy state of mind. It used to irritate me that she was always happy and had it all together. I would blame her for every little thing instead of blaming myself. Eventually, I pushed her away. Once I accepted my truth and apologized to Achante we hit it back off. Do you see what happened? Even when I was completely wrong she accepted me back into her life with open arms. Friendship changes as we develop in our personal and professional life. You have to be open and understand those changes. Without understanding and openness, a friendship will not last. I also have a friendship group and this has been hard for me as well. A group of us, from my old job at CPS, became very close friends. I have felt left out many times. I had to realize that even though we are a friendship group, we have our own personal relationships with each other. As a friend, you're going to have to do a lot of self-reflection. You're also going to have to be open to your friends' advice and criticism. Not gonna lie, that is my biggest issue with my friends!!! BUT they accept me and are understanding and that's how a TRUE friendship works.
Friendship is intentional and is ongoing. As research has noted friendships help us with our emotional well-being. Friendship has helped me with my sense of belonging, happiness, self-esteem, and purpose. God truly has blessed me throughout my life to have great friendships. Having good friendships has helped me become the person I am today. I dedicate this blog to my BESTIES!!! You all have touched my life and encouraged me to keep pushing when I did not want to! I love you 3,000.