I Will, I Must, I Can!

Lana Speakz
Jul 6, 2021
5 min read

Updated: Aug 19, 2021

Hey, Hey, to my blogger buddies! I have been gone for a while but I'm back and better!!! What have I been doing?? Well, I'll explain it all in this blog post.

LET'S GO BACKWARDS!

If you're following any of my social media outlets, then you are aware of my recent move to Jackson, MS. Moving was a total life change that I did not see happening. I imagined this move to be a chance for me to grow and create new opportunities. Why? I mean why not?? I had did so much work on myself in 2020. I gained confidence. I was ready for the new adventures that were destined for my life. All 2020 I can remember saying, "I'm ready to leave Hattiesburg, MS and do something different with my life". I finally got what I thought I wanted. Remember the old saying, 'beware what you wish or ask for".

I never felt so lost during the pandemic until I moved to Jackson, MS. Every situation that I expected to work out just did not work! Everything that I poured into myself diminish within seconds. I cried every day and I never felt so alone. I had finally experienced the covid-19 depression side effects. I also experienced so much social anxiety. I was in positions where I could not trust the people around me and I begun to isolate myself. On top of that, I felt misunderstood, which in return, made me lose confidence in who I was all over again! I was back to trying to figure out myself and how to change the narrative.

LET'S FAST FORWARD!

On December 19, 2020, I went to a Bestie Vision Board Party 2021 hosted by some amazing ladies Business Owner Quintena Pollard, Fashion Influencer B.Allen, and Designer Kadrianna Owens. I always wanted to do a vision board and I finally had an opportunity to do so. My goal in attending this event was to affirm and set the tone for 2021. I heard people tell their own testimonies of how they created a Vision Board and all their visions come true. I wanted that same testimony for myself. As I created my Vision Board that evening, I instantly got confidence and affirmed 2021 would be different.

"Affirming yourself helps with increasing one's confidence or raising your self-esteem"

NOW, THIS WAS THE GAME CHANGER!

I did not see what was about to happen next. The very next day I ended up injuring my knee at football practice. I was so sad and frustrated and afraid that my entire football career was over. I was determined to make a statement to show what I could do, especially when other people felt like I couldn't do it. Now, look at me on crutches and possible surgery. That was the icing on the cake for me to give up. Sadly, I expected people to be there for me, they weren't. I was handling this whole situation on my own. Only a few people checked on me and I hadn't felt so alone in a long time. I cried every single day until I finally had my MRI. Watch how God works!!! The result of the MRI was no surgery and that was all I needed to hear. Then one day my teammate spoke to me about a trainer by the name of William Triplett aka Tripp. Tripp became my biggest cheerleader and he helped me pull myself out of my self-destructive thoughts and depression.

During my season of recovery, I would get up at 5 AM in the morning go work out, and be on Clubhouse affirming others! With dedication, Tripp's workouts, and my Clubhouse family I started to walk better, run and do everything like I use to. I thank God for placing the right people at the right appointed time. The support I wanted I did not get. I did receive the support I needed and I just want to say thank you. You really do not understand how being for me in my rough season helped me to find my way back!

HOW DID I CHANGE THE NARRATIVE?

As 2020 was ending, I made the decision and affirmed what I wanted for 2021 no matter the obstacle. I began to start back the process of getting my LCSW. I decided to complete my LCSW paperwork in hopes I would start my Supervision for February 2021. So, during the Christmas break, I began working on my paper. Despite everything going on! Yeah, yeah, I know you all are itching to know what else happened but I won't be bringing it up this time. If I did this would be a very long blog. LOL!

I finished my LCSW paper during the first week in January 2021 and submitted all my documents. As I awaited my results I continue to work on the tool of affirming. I created a list of affirmations for my business and personal life. With creating my affirmations I decided that no matter what happened in 2021, I Will, I Must and I CAN!

I got into the LCSW program!!! When I spoke with my supervisor and informed her of the news she in return stated, "It's rare to get approved on the first try". That spoke volumes to me! I literally spoke what I wanted, I manifested it and I had the faith to believe I would have it. Just like that 2021 became The Year Of Affirming!

Affirm = "TO BELIEVE"

This year changed around because of my mindset and faith. The first 6 months of the year really have been difficult for me but I continue to hold on to my affirming messages and faith in God. I hold on to the fact that what is for me will be for me. Since my decision to affirm everything around me, me any teammates made it into the playoffs, I was asked to do collaborations with other up and coming businesses, I relaunched my Never Give Up BELIEVER Collection, I've spoken in rooms that I did not see myself speaking in and I haven't given up!

LET'S REFLECT!

You remember in the beginning when I said moving to Jackson, MS would grow me and I would have new opportunities. As I reflect, I have grown and opportunities have come. I just wanted it how I wanted it to be. When everything played out I realize that everything needed to happen the way it did. I had to go through it so I could continue to tell you my story. I can encourage you into becoming a believer in never giving up!

I'm growing and I have had so many new opportunities and there are more opportunities to come! I only see myself developing and accomplishing much more. AND I AFFIRM THAT MESSAGE! NOW, when are you going to start affirming your life?

With Love,