Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Properly

There’s a particular kind of heartbreak that comes with loving someone who used to love you well.

Not perfectly. Not without flaws. But warmly. Consistently. Gently.

And then something shifts.

The tone changes. The effort fades. The softness turns cold.

And suddenly, the person you love starts feeling like someone you have to beg to understand you.

When Love Turns Cold

One of the hardest parts is realizing that the love didn’t disappear overnight—it eroded.

Slowly.

You start noticing how your questions are met with irritation instead of reassurance.

How your needs are labeled as “too much.” How curiosity is twisted into accusations. How wanting clarity somehow makes you feel crazy.

You’re not asking for the world. You’re asking for basic emotional presence.

And yet, every time you speak up, you’re made to feel like the problem.

Loving the Memory More Than the Reality

What makes it even harder is that you’re not holding on to nothing.

You’re holding on to:

• How it used to be

• The version of them that showed up before

• The future you thought you were building

  
  

You stay because you remember the warmth.

You stay because you’ve seen their capacity.

You stay because you believe love means endurance.

But love is not supposed to feel like self-abandonment.

When Asking Questions Feels Unsafe

Healthy love allows questions.

Healthy love invites communication.

Healthy love doesn’t punish curiosity.

If every attempt to understand is met with defensiveness, silence, or emotional withdrawal, something is broken—and it’s not you.

You begin walking on eggshells.

Rewriting texts.

Over-explaining your feelings.

Shrinking your needs just to keep the peace.

That’s not love. That’s survival.

The Struggle to Choose Yourself

Choosing yourself doesn’t mean you didn’t love them enough.

It means you finally loved yourself enough to stop accepting less than what you deserve.

And that choice is brutal.

Because walking away isn’t just leaving a person—It’s grieving:

• What you thought it would be

• Who you hoped they’d stay

• The version of yourself that kept trying

  
  

Choosing yourself feels like betrayal at first.

Especially when you’re loyal.

Especially when you’re patient.

Especially when you see the good even when it’s no longer being shown to you.

Love Should Feel Safe

Love should not make you feel small.

Love should not make you question your sanity.

Love should not punish you for wanting connection.

If the love you’re receiving no longer matches the love you’re giving, it’s okay to pause.

It’s okay to grieve.

It’s okay to let go.

Not because you didn’t care—But because you cared too deeply to keep hurting yourself.

And sometimes the bravest thing you can do is choose peace over potential, clarity over confusion, and yourself over what you wish it could be.

With Love,

#lanaspeakz #lanatheinfluencer #love #healing #choosepeace